Have you ever thought about why your life is as it is? You might think it is just luck, that it is someone else’s fault, that God is punishing you, or something else. What if the reason is what takes place inside you!
The truth is that what you are today is the result of what you hold in your own mind about who you are – your worth, your abilities, what you deserve, and other attitudes. I am not talking about fleeting thoughts that run through your mind, or about what you wish would happen. I am talking about those deeply held beliefs and values that really control your life.
Before you scream “psychobabble”, you might be interested in what a difference your thinking can make. As I coach individuals and groups and they improve and become more successful, we examine these beliefs. Usually, they weren’t even aware of the reasoning behind their thinking. Henry Ford had it right when he said, “There are two kinds of people. Those who think they can, and those who think they can’t. And they are both right!
I grew up in a hard working, but low income family. Well, except for my maternal grandfather. My Daddy Holmes (as the grandkids called him) was an entrepreneur, except in those days I never remember hearing that word. He was a top rate building contractor, he bought land, he built houses, he built factories – he pursued his dreams. He was a fun guy, positive, encouraging, generous, out going and he was well respected. He died when I was 6 years old, but I still have a vivid memory of him.
As I was growing up, I heard often that we didn’t have this, or couldn’t do that, or couldn’t get that. I heard the blame game being played by the adults in my life. You know, “my life is what it is because of him or her or them. I even adopted some of that. Yet, in the recesses of my mind I could hear Daddy Holmes saying, “you can do whatever you put your mind to.”
Over the years, I have learned that the self-image I really hold at the center of my being is what controls my feeling and actions. The results, well they are just results. I can’t change the results. I can only change the actions – and to do that consistently I have to change my thinking. This is not a one time thing.
To change wrong thinking means that you have to identify the thinking that is wrong. Take the time to think into your actions and your feelings. What is the belief that is controlling them. Is it true? Is it false? If it is true, but it is holding you back from living the life you know you were meant for, what would have to change for the thinking to change? If it is not true – the evidence doesn’t support it, then state what is true. Consider that Many pro athletes were told that they were too small or two slow to play their sport. Yet, hall of fames have some of these very people honored by them. How? Those individuals determined that they could make it AND they determined that no one would outwork them!
As a Christian, I know the Bible has a lot to say about the power of belief – right or wrong and good or bad. Belief is to hold something as true. Most of the time people don’t take the time, energy and effort to really dig in and examine their beliefs and values. Yet, it is there that the answer to change lies.
Begin thinking about what thoughts, beliefs, and values are holding you back. Next week we will did in just a bit deeper on this topic. Until then, THINK!
Make your’s a great day and week!
P.S. Want to dig even deeper into this? Check out some of the studies by Dr. Maxwell Maltz Psycho-Cybernetics, or the revised version by Dan S. Kennedy, or Asset Based Thinking by Kathy Cramer.